Charlie Barnard’s Mostly Honest Poem


I was born on July 23rd. As a Leo, I’m supposed to be confident, comfortable being the center of attention, and generous. I’m not sure if I am all of those things.

I am 5’1¼, I unintentionally tear up when drinking seltzer, and I always need stories with a happy ending.

I’m still learning how to see everything as a problem with a chance of being fixed, because growing up in a world full of terror in the news every day doesn’t give you a lot of hope.

I love Moxie soda. A lot.

Secretly I hate hearing people whistle and hum.

I have a fascination with empty plates, and collecting and washing glass jars – I assume it’s because I usually find myself noticing beauty in emptiness, in the space that something left more than the original object.

It’s also why I tend to take people for granted and painfully notice the space when they’re gone. It’s dangerous living – knowing that loss defines my relationships and hoping that the people around me know I’m trying to see the space they exist in instead of reaching for where they used to be.

I’ve never dug a grave but I have this ever-widening hole deep within me. I got it from the love I feel for being alive being pushed down by the crushing weight of worldly despair.

I know this sounds weird but sometimes I wonder what my school bag says about me when I’m not around. I wonder what my notebooks would do if they found out their chance of being filled with pressed flowers was killed as soon as I knew what a GPA was: I’ve got a water bottle that’s overflowing with really really loud tears: and an abyss in my pencil case – I’m afraid that if I let you see my homework planner you’ll shake out all the weekends and use them as stationery to record my next mistakes.

Hi. My name is Lucy. I enjoy crunchy leaves, Earl Gray tea, and playing Pictionary early in the morning.

My hobbies include: oversharing, filling my inner void with unhealthy coping mechanisms, and trying to convince people that someday I should be legally allowed to marry the person I love.

I don’t know much but I do know this: humankind is not inherently evil. There are good people out there, and to all the people working to better the world – I’ll be there in a few.

Photo by Wiser by the Mile on Unsplash