Khaaliyah Watson
Ms. Raffaele
American Voices 6
January 22, 2025
Red Ears
April 7, 1992
Dear diary,
I remember the day my mom was ripped away from our home. They labeled her as crazy only because she went on about some folklore from her childhood, which personally, I think isn’t crazy at all. I always saw my mom as a runway model, pretty and perfect looking. If they knew my mom like how I know her, they wouldn’t bat an eye on any of the lies that have been said about my mother. It hurts to see someone I see as my hero, someone I want to take after, to be painted as this monster. One thing that stood out on her were her red ears, which she was always twisting and clawing at. It really hurt me to watch her go, I remember everything she told me as a child. Growing up, my mother would pull me into her arms and tell me stories to help me fall asleep quicker. This is when her true colors would show. She would go back to her roots and tell me times of the beautiful Kingston, Jamaica. It was magical to see her switch from my mother to this hidden version of herself, in a state of nostalgia from the past. One thing she said during her story times was ‘If your ears are itchy, someone must be talking about you. The left is gossip while the right is someone who speaks good of you.’ Is that why she always itched her ears?
June 15, 1992
Dear diary,
I have taken up all my mom’s responsibilities like cleaning and doing the laundry, cooking for the house, and most importantly taking care of my father. My mom said it’s normal for girls my age to be responsible for the whole household in Jamaica and that I’m very behind. She said I’m lazy and very privileged. She swore up and down that it’s basic knowledge for a woman to know how to clean and cook from a young age. Sometimes I think about the days when we were a happy family and not living like this, without mom by our side. While I’m in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the evening, my father is sitting watching soccer, which he does everyday. After my mom left, he started to look depressed, or in other words, lonely. We are going to visit her soon. I think I’ll try to recreate her favorite food to help her feel better. The back of my ears have been really itchy lately but it’s nothing to worry about. It honestly feels more like an irritation rather than an itch, it’s just really annoying. If anything, I’ll visit a doctor if it gets worse.
June 30, 1992
Dear diary,
I visited my mom today, she seemed to be back to her usual self. Today, she told me a new story. I wondered how she is okay with being labeled as a madwoman. Gossip about what happened was spreading around the town. Of course the story has been changed multiple times and I was starting to believe it myself. It was a lot of nonsense, but of course I was their next target. I saw many points and stares as I walked by because of this unforgettable situation. They will never understand how she feels. Mom is better than they are.
August 20, 1992
Dear diary,
I can not stop itching my ears. It’s unbearable. I cannot stop. Why can’t I stop? Why does it hurt? Why does it feel like something is crawling under my skin in this one place? I try to hide these hideous things under anything I could find. I don’t get why everyone is staring at me. It’s odd. I’m perfectly fine, so they should stop now. I could never be crazy. I am not like her. This is a pure coincidence! Do not treat me like I’m crazy! I’m not! Someone has to believe me, it’s just a symptom of a common cold. I just need to put some ointment on it, I should have done that before. Someone has to believe me. Please. Diary, do you believe it’s nothing? Is this how mom feels? Is the gossip true? Maybe she is crazy, why would they take her away? I mean it has to be bad, no one gets taken away by accident.
August 30, 1992
I can’t anymore. My ears, this is unfair to be cursed by this pain. I have to take away the pain, I have to silence it. I have to remove the root of the problem, my ears. It has to be done, I have to be sane again. I’ll be okay without them. At least the pain will go away. I hate my red ears, I hate the pain, I hate everything about them but finally I’ll be at peace…
They are finally gone, I am free.