Skate 7/10
I was pretty shocked to discover that this song was Number One in Trending on Spotify; I’m not saying it’s a bad song, but I wouldn’t choose to listen to it again. I’m glad that Bruno is expanding his musical possibilities and talents and I can see how certain people may like this music, but it just isn’t for me.
The idea of the song is cute and unique, talking about skating (big surprise I know) but I like that its a pretty innocent and sweet song.
It’s a catchy song and if you listen to it enough times in your study hall you’ll be sure to be humming the tune in your AP Bio class next period… even if you don’t know all the words yet. Fortunately for you though the words are pretty repetitive and it doesn’t take too many takes to memorize it.
If you liked Bruno’s “Leave the Door Open” you’ll be sure to love this song as well. So I’d give it a 7/10; it’s not really for me, but if my sisters put it on the Ox in the car I wouldn’t scream and claw at them until I was able to change the song so I guess that’s good.

Rumors 6/10
I’m more conflicted about this song then when I was when I was asked whether I recommended taking RHI; in some ways absolutely, and in some ways just save your soul while you can. I liked the verses full of positivity and self-confidence – the kind that Lizzo and Cardi always manage to eject despite millions of haters who can;t seem to mind their own dang business. But the chorus always left me disappointed; it was slow, and messy, and I just didn’t vibe with it the way I expected to.
The lyrics themselves are great and I love the women and body positivity they spread throughout the song and the chorus manages to wrap their message all together – however, again, I wish they had mad the chorus more fun. Upped the tempo, added some fun beats, anything to make it more of a fun, dance, poppy song like Lizzo’s “Good As Hell” or “Truth Hurts”.

STAY 4/10
All you have to know about this song is that it’s 2 minutes long. That’s it. I mean talk about a let-down; you have this great collab of Justin and The Kid Laroi and that’s all you could come up with? I guess they know that they don’t have to try too hard cause their fans will obsess over it either way (it already has 285 million views on YouTube) but really? You’re being paid all this money to make a song that’s 2 minutes long? Okay, sorry, I’ll drop the subject.
The auto-tune in this song is unreal; the first time I heard this I thought I was listening to a male version of Alexa trying to sing a song.The tempo itself is upbeat and fun so I can see why people might listen to it, but the auto-tune you get from listening to this is more than 6x the daily recommended amount (citation: my own bleeding ears currently listening to this while writing this article).
The lyrics are fine – nothing special, or interesting, but fine. Kids at Bancroft could definitely write a better song, but then again we’re all nerds so that’s not saying much.

traitor 10/10
Okay, first I have to confess that this is my all time favorite song so of course I’m completely biased. But there is SO much to love about this song.
First, the lyrical choices – even just the concept of “guess you didn’t cheat… but you’re still a traitor” – I mean GORGEOUS! I couldn’t have come up with a better idea if I had gone inside the complex brain of Nathaneil Martin.
The rhythm of the song is also perfect for me, because I love calm and relaxed songs; however, it’s different enough that it doesn’t get lost in her album (which although I am a Swiftie until I die, I have to admit Tay Tay can’t necessarily claim per her recent albums… but that’s a conversation for another time).
And of course the bridge – the BRIDGE! Ugh Oliva what did we do to deserve to hear this beautiful crunchy, dense, heartbreaking verse!?
Finally, her emotion throughout the song is what truly makes Oliva stand out from the rest of the current songwriters; that and her consistent relatability with her teenage audience. You can tell she’s been through some *stuff* (yes I’m looking at you Joshua) and I’m begging you please please go listen to this song right now. Life is too short to pretend you don’t love Olivia.

Kiss Me More 2/10
I don’t know how I didn’t know that this was the TikTok song but yeah I guess it is. I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, but I really can’t stand Doja Cat; I don’t really know why but I’ve never liked any of her songs no matter how much I try to listen to them. I think her high-pitched voice irks me and I’ve never been a fan of her “jerky” music (that’s the best way I can describe it).
The song did stand out to me, but not in a good way; mostly just me thinking, “God I can’t wait for this to be over” for five minutes and fifteen seconds. However, I guess that if you enjoy it then it stands out to you in a good way and you find yourself thinking, “God I hope this never ends” for five minutes and fifteen seconds. Either way, it stands out.
The lyrics are, well, not the most appropriate, but they’re fine. I like that they aren’t repetitive and that the verses are longer and you can tell she actually spent a considerable amount of time thinking them through (yes I’m looking at you Justin).

Heat Waves 4/10
Once again, I’m more conflicted about this song than we are all about having to pack our lunch every day or ordering food. I think TikTok is one of the reasons I don’t completely hate this song, but that’s about it. Again, I can see why people would like this song – if you liked the song “Sunday Best” by Surfaces you’ll probably like this one too. I just don’t like the nasally voices and how you can’t really hear someone singing because all you hear are autotune notes.
The lyrics themselves are okay, more good than bad, and they’re pretty creative. Again, even though I personally don’t like it, the song stands out for sure and it’s hard to forget. Is it a song I would keep on if my radio station played it? No. But I wouldn’t skip a TikTok just because I heard it playing, which is more than I can say about Astronaut in the Ocean.

Volvi 5/10
Obviously I can’t really judge this song off of lyrics because I don’t speak Spanish but the rhythm and beats are pretty awesome. I can definitely see myself vibing to this song in the summer with the windows rolled down which makes it a shame that it’s mid autumn, I’m freezing my butt off, and I’m already forced to blast my heat in my tiny Rav-4. But either way it’s for sure a song I could vibe to, and I’m gonna rate it pretty high.
So actually I looked up the English lyrics and I really liked the verse, “Tell me why do you throw rocks at the moon//It’s as illogical as pulling me out of your skin”. The song is stereotypical surrounding the topic of the singer wanting to get back with his ex, but I like the lyrics and they help the song stand out a little more. I liked it because it reminded me of all the songs we listened to in Spanish 3, one of the best classes ever, but also disappointed me because it sounded like all the songs we listened to in Spanish 3.

Take My Breath
Although I like the beat of this song, it sounds like every other song by The Weeknd; essentially it’s a disco/pop/dance song filled with words you can’t understand. This song in particular I found it really hard to hear what he was saying throughout the verses. This song reminds me so much of Michael Jakcson, with the intro, the guitar, and especially his high-pitched voice.
The song itself really isn’t anything special; it’s one that could get lost in the mainstream music you hear today and you could swap and exchange it for any other song by The Weeknd and you wouldn’t know the difference.

Bad Habits 10/10
I absolutely love this song and it’s one of my go-to workout songs now. The beat, the instruments, and singing, everything about it is perfect. My dad and I constantly rock out to this on our way to school and I’m so glad that Ed has been able to still create fun and upbeat music. I think it’s so easy for popular artists to make slow songs and it’s probably hard to make a really successful, fun, pop song; but Ed does it!
I’ve heard some people complain that they miss Ed’s slowed down, relaxed guitar vibe – and although I can sympathize with that, I think we’ve all experienced the opposite with Tay Tay and how she went from her rockin’ Lover album to her folklore album which was just not it. Honestly I didn’t have a problem with her doing one or two albums with it but now that they’re all slowed down and they all start to sound the same? I mean come on Taylor I’m trying my best to support you but it’s feeling a bit like deja vu… speaking of deja vu, oliv- okay I’ll stop my tangent right now.
All this to say that I think we should appreciate Ed’s upbeat songs and his absolutely rockin’ singles like Bad Habits and Shivers. Sure we could complain about this, and whine about that, but why don’t we just enjoy the bopping singles this man is spitting out?

INDUSTRY BABY 8.5/10
I actually liked this song much more than I thought I would; maybe it was because I’ve heard it so many times on TikTok but I actually really like it. There are only a few rap songs I’ll choose to play in the car and along with any song by Cardi B and Rockstar (and rockstar) this is definitely one of them. The beat is fun but also different and catchy. It’s a song you can bop out to and it’s pretty happy and fun.
I like that the lyrics are unique and they aren’t too repetitive or basic (like that painful song “Mi Mi Mi” – God that song makes me just-). I’ve found that Lil Nas X is pretty good with writing memorable and interesting songs while also being able to understand and listen to the lyrics unlike other rap songs.

Photo by Alexander Shatov on Unsplash