Clio 19

Alice Knowlton, Editor-in-Chief

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You know that feeling when you almost decide to give up on something all together, but one little thing forces you to keep going? Take my Aunt Emmeline for example. She almost certainly would’ve divorced Uncle Chuck as soon as she found out about his mob ties had she not bet my Grandpa $50 that they’d still be married at the turn of the century. Nowadays, of course, Aunt Emmeline makes better money than that in the mob. But I digress. As some of you are aware and some of you are repressing, the senior thesis is sweeping along to its agonizing conclusion at the end of this week. Two weeks of eternal life are guaranteed to all those who make it through the very depths of hell. It seems somehow dangerous to me that Bancroft’s most ruthless competition takes place at the height of this chaos and agony. Permitting a bunch of high schoolers one week out from break to hunt each other down with plastic cutlery is an invitation for our darkest instincts to run riot. I myself brought down four targets this year, and I truly felt the exhilaration of a jungle cat tearing out the throat of a small mammal each time I snapped someone’s spoon before their helpless eyes. There are no friendships, no alliances, nor any bonds of fellowship in this game. We play alone and we play to win.

But that’s not to say this time of year is all predator instincts and pain. Hope cometh with the showers of April. This doesn’t apply to the majority of you poor saps, but some of us only have one more month of school. Don’t expect me to get all emotional about that now— I’m saving my tearful goodbyes for next issue. At this point, I can’t help but feel that some fresh horror must be dropped upon us seniors to keep us busy now that we’ve conquered the college process and the thesis. What further trials could be set to us? I think that’s what co-op is for, actually. Never grow up, kids. They’ll make you do stuff.

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