In Praise of a Vegetarian Thanksgiving

Gaia Knight, Writer

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November is finally here, bringing with it a whole new energy. Halloween is over, seniors can hold their heads above the raging tides of the college process for a moment, and there are only a few weeks until a much needed moment of rest. Thanksgiving break acts as one of the few moments for students to regain their sanity. Yet as a lifelong vegetarian, I have never made it through a single Thanksgiving without a family member having a crisis over what I will eat, or without hearing someone go on and on about how terrible Thanksgiving must be for me. As this just adds stress to a rare moment of relaxation, I am going to let you guys in on a secret… Thanksgiving is actually great as a vegetarian.

Thanksgiving as a vegetarian means filling up your plate with all of your favorite sides and not having to leave room for your Aunt Hilda’s dried out turkey. Vegetarians don’t starve on Thanksgiving: they’re just too busy stuffing their faces with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, bread, green beans, corn, cranberry sauce… (you get the idea) to argue otherwise. Of course, we still have to awkwardly dodge invasive interrogations from distant family members desperately trying to discover our plans for college and relationship status like everyone else. But, as a vegetarian, we automatically have an excuse not to try the strange dish your uncle found a recipe for on the internet.

There is only one Thanksgiving food that I have heard horror stories and complaints about, and it’s turkey. I have heard about turkeys slathered in mayo, third degree burns from fryers, and completely flavorless ones. So rather than focusing on eating the bird that Ben Franklin valued more than the eagle, let’s all put side dishes on the pedestal they deserve. However, before I can happily close this PSA and cement it onto the internet where words never completely disappear, I beg of you….please stop pointlessly adding bacon to every side. You and I both know that it can’t possibly belong with sweet potatoes.

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