Fashion Week — Homecoming Edition

Alice K. and Julianna B., Writers

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The weekend before Homecoming, Julianna B. and Alice K. of Unleashed went to their local Goodwill store to seek homecoming dresses. They found their dresses, and then some. Here, examined, is a selection of the dresses Goodwill had to offer.

The Graduation Dress



J: If this dress is still at the store by the time I graduate I’m definitely going to buy it.

A: It’s cute, though not very homecoming-esque. Definitely a graduation thing.

Tacky meter: Nope. It’s a tasteful white dress.The lace hexagons are cool.



Pink. Very Pink.



J: I feel like I saw this dress in some movie with bridesmaids in it

A: This thing was WAY too small.

Tacky meter: Not bad. Bright, but all one color and a simple cut.


The Blue Fairy Pinocchio Dress



J: When I tried this on I felt like I should be flying with Wendy to Neverland.

A: I do believe in fairies!

Tacky meter: I’ve seen worse. But this is fairly bad. The Milky Way style stripes are a little odd.




Tasteless Granny



J: Kris Jenner would definitely wear this.

A: EWW! Weighed 100 pounds and looked like a circus ringmaster’s outfit. Seriously, the thing looks like a tasteless stagecoach.

Tacky meter: Off the charts. Tacky doesn’t even begin to describe this garment.


Homecoming for Cleopatra



J: If we were in a pyramid I might have been more into this dress.

A: What material is that? The skin of some rare tropical reptile?

Tacky meter: Looks like eyeshadow.






Prom Dress



J: If only it were spring and we were upperclassmen…

A: Also did not fit. Pretty, though. Swishy and mermaidy.

Tacky meter: Not bad at all.





We Stole This From The “American Hustle” Set



J: Did Amy Adams wear this at one point?

A: I love it! It’s disco patterned!

Tacky meter: Semi-tacky. Small sequins.






Sparkly Seduction



J: No one in this century would wear this.

A: Who on earth donated this thing?

Tacky meter: Luminescent. So sparkly, there’s a risk of retinal damage.






The C.E.O Dress



J: If Hillary Clinton didn’t wear pant suits all the time she would have bought this dress already.

A: So very official. Decidedly a day dress.

Tacky meter: Doesn’t even register. Tasteful to the point of being boring.








Santa’s Lingerie



J: Mrs. Clause wears this to make Santa happy

A: In case you can’t tell, it also has sequins. Perfect for all your seduction-at-the-office-Christmas-party needs!

Tacky meter: In the red. (Ha ha, I’m so funny)






“I Swear This Fit Last Year” Dress



J: Someone about three sizes smaller than I would have looked nice in this.

A: Why does it have two skirts?

Tacky meter: ⅓









The Sorority Dress



J: Looks a bit mid 2000s to me.

A: Words (almost) fail me. This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.

Tacky meter: Just broke. It couldn’t take any more.







The Hippie Dress



J: This is the dress I wore to homecoming!

A: Pretty! I love the floral design.

Tacky meter: Nah. It’s cute.






The Flapper Dress



J: Yay! Alice’s homecoming dress.

A: I love it so much. It was cheap, too. Thrift shopping rules! …sort of.

Tacky meter: Never!


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