Aiming a Little Low – An Unbiased Critique of the Target Food Court

Noah K, Writer

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There are several attributes I look for in a quality dining venue – good service, reasonable prices, a diverse menu, and most importantly, easy access to a napkin dispenser. By these standards, I am obliged to inform the American populous of the shortcomings of this prestigious restaurant, found in 84% of the Targets in America: the Target food court.  Following an extensive legal dispute, the monopolistic Starbucks corporation was able to infiltrate the Target food industry, moving into several of the local stores in my region; however, the traditional, eclectic food court still holds dominance over the superstore’s dining options. 

My experience at this staple American institution began with a less-than-satisfactory interaction with the waitress.  In place of the remedial pleasantries crucial to successful restaurant service, all I received was a “yes?”. To compile on this lack of class, I had to walk from my table across the entirety of the restaurant to the threshold of the kitchen area just to get my waitress’s attention. 

Putting this unpleasant service behind me, I proceeded to choose the house special, “plain cheese pizza slice,” which drained my pockets at a whopping $3.50.  Other menu items included “hot dog” and “pretzel” both similarly bankrupting investments–not to mention the utter lack of sides they included. 

In an interesting fusion of classic American cuisine and the hibachi dining experience, my meal was prepared right in front of my eyes! This, however, forced me to watch the atrocious cooking techniques employed to create my dish.  I watched as the waitress–who impressively doubled as the chef of the restaurant–removed my frozen pizza slice from a strip of approximately 30 other identical slices.  The cooking process consisted of placing of my pizza slice on a paper plate and microwaving it for 1 minute and 15 seconds.  Such simplicity and efficiency I have never seen from another restaurant, yet these methods certainly raised questions as to the quality of the dish.

And how was the quality of my food from this esteemed dining institution?  Well, I suppose there are people in this world who enjoy the taste of soggy cardboard; however, I am not one of those people, and if you are not one of those people than I would have to recommend avoiding the dining options at the Target food court, or maybe just stick to the Starbucks.

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